12735 When I made the hasty decision on Saturday morning to plunk down the requisite $49.99 and order the Pay-Per-View boxing match between the Antonio Maragarito and Miguel Cotto I had no idea that I was going to be meeting an “adversary" of sorts in my attempt to watch the boxeo alone. I had no idea that I would wilt under her relentless pressure just like Cotto did from the Tijauna Tornados’ “Chigurh-esque" stalking at the MGM Grand last nite. In a truly memorable fight that lived up to all of the hyperbole, I saw the systematic dismantling of an undefeated champion’s spirit and the breaking of his will to continue to raise his hands and defend his pride. Like the character _Anton Chigurh _repeatedly did to his victims in the film, _No Country for Old Men_, Margarito did the same to Cotto – with unwavering commitment and intention, he pursued his opponent of noteworthy stature in the ring and imposed his will and determination in such a way that he knew he would ultimately claim his victory. My original plan was to invite my son over to watch the fight but, he was at a wedding for the day. So, I shifted my plan to a solo effort of relaxation to include: ordering some pizza, watching the hyperbole-filled evening in the solitude of my living room, in my favorite chair, with the backdrop of a glorious, Pacific Northwest summer day on a Saturday evening. Enter my opponent in the bout for sports-viewing solitude…cue Michael Buffer…In the red corner, fighting out of Northeast Portland, a 17 year old, step-daughter, with amazing verbal skills and wit," Kaaaaaaaavina Kief":http://sportsnation.espn.go.com/fans/Katalyst4Sport/photos?current_image=394767! She proved to be an unexpected and very formidable opponent in my quest to enjoy this mega event of the “sweet science" alone. *Round 1: Pizza Order*. As I get ready to order my pizza for the evening’s festivities, my step-daughter, Kavina, deftly decides that she would like some pizza too. I was in full-on “I’m-gonna-watch-this-alone" mode so, I needed to think quickly to ensure my solo viewing…I ordered 2 individual pizzas to create an easy separation of our taste-buds and consumption of the greasy delicacy and even convinced her that it would be best for her to get her fav’ veggie pizza and not a pepperoni pizza (my choice). She agreed and I thought that the evening was saved. _*Score Round 1: 10 to 9 for KC*_ *Round 2: Counter Punch* with TV program selection. As I was leaving to go pick-up the pizza, the PPV coverage started with the undercard. Kavina was sitting in the living room, in a chair next to my favorite chair, perusing the internet on her computer and “cuddling" with her new kitten – not a very macho boxeo picture at all. Hoping to distract her attention and create disinterest, I turned the TV to another station on my way out the door. Without even looking up from her computer she subtly said that I could leave the boxing on because she wasn’t paying attention to it anyway. Perfect! I left out of the house thinking that the evening would be as I planned it and I would have my solo GUY nite after all. _*Score Round 2: 10 to 9 for KC*_ *Round 3: On-the-Ropes*. I returned with two, beautifully baked, individual Round Table pizzas and strategically placed hers in the kitchen for her to munch on and potentially remain in the other room – a perfectly executed, diabolical plan for ensuring my solo viewing pleasure. I have the situation well in hand and then…she surprisingly turns the action in her favor. She eats her pizza, chats with her Mom, cuddles with the kitten in the kitchen and then …returns to my Saturday evening sports sanctuary area in the living room, with her kitten underarm and sits back in her the seat and “Googles" away! She ends the round with a flurry of nonsensical chatter about Feng Shui and deciding that some of her online “discoveries" are worthy of being shared with me and especially since she has cleverly ascertained that the main event hadn’t begun yet – ahhhhhh! I finish the round rattled but, still confident. I decide that as long as she’s quiet when the main event starts, it will be ok. _Score Round 3: 10 to 9 for Kavina_ *Round 4: MOmentum shift*. The build-up to the main event is typical of most PPV fight extravaganzas: lots of hyperbole about the boxers, their records, the magnitude of the moment, their pugilistic styles are compared to boxers of yesteryear and over-analyzed, blahblahblah. I notice out of the corner of my eye that Kavina has ceased her cyber searching and is glued to the chatter from the commentators. She nonchalantly states, “boxing is one sport that I really get…it has straight forward rules and it’s easy to understand what the object of the sport is…beat the crap outta the other guy!" I look up and I know she see that I have a simultaneous look of bewilderment coupled with a pleased look of acceptance on my face. A convincing round for Kavina. _*Score Round 4: 10 to 8 for Kavina*_ (*Note*: I’m starting to realize that I’ve lost control of my bout for solitude but my pride won’t let me admit it. I know I’m in trouble as I head to the kitchen for a beverage.) *Round 5: THE END* of my solo viewing. Three national anthems later + Michael Buffer’s trademark intro of the combatants (Kavina thought it was quite interesting that Michael Buffer made a great living because of his distinct speaking style) + the crowd cacophony chanting support for their favorite fighter + the DINGGG of the ringside bell proved to be the perfect combo of “entertainment power punches" landed on that teenage girl’s noggin. If there was a CompuBox score for that moment, it would have shown an outrageously high percentage of power punches had landed cleanly and with bad intentions (for my plans). This moment left her no other option but to pay attention to the boxing match and commit to viewing all 11 rounds with me - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo! Well, what happened for the next 45 minutes was COMPLETELY unexpected… We had a great time watching it together! We both ooooh’d and ahhhhh’d. We grimaced and marveled at the level of malice that each Cotto punch had for his intended target, Margarito, in the early rounds of the bout and the later round momentum swing unleashed by Margarito – especially when we watched the slow motion replays. We both laughed at and were intrigued by the commentary of the ringside announcers - a very prophetic line was said by famed trainer, Emanuel Steward, “if a boxer finds himself constantly retreating and ducking punches while he’s sitting on the second rope, he’s doesn’t have that far to go to be on the canvas…Cotto better be careful."). Kavina was pulling for Cotto but, noted at that moment that the Tijuana Tornado is picking up momentum. We watched as Margarito brought the “pain" and broke the spirit of a great champion. I could understand how Cotto broke down because Kavina used the same plan that Margarito employed in their pugilistic encounter. *_The final outcome: score a TKO (Total Kavina Obliteration)_* of my fight nite but, I lost to a worthy opponent and I absolutely gained a new appreciation for our relationship. Who knew?! true 2008-07-27T21:39:46Z 61848 1 2008-07-27T23:22:35Z